I have a love/hate relationship with cheesecake. I love to eat it but baking a cheesecake pisses me off. Once I figured out the secret to an amazing cheesecake my life hasn’t been the same. I know you’ll agree. Feel free to enter this cheesecake in your local county fair and be prepared for stardom!! When I was growing up my Mom made the best cheesecake I ever had in my life. When she threw it on the table it gave a thud as if she dropped a cylinder block on the table. It was dense yet creamy and delicious! Everyone loved it. I’ve tried to recreate it without my Mom’s recipe because according to her, “I don’t know where the hell that recipes at and I’m not digging to find it.” I think this recipe comes pretty damn close to Mom’s. Not quite as dense but creamy as hell!! I love it and quite proud of it. Of course, I will never even come close to my Mom’s cheesecake but it will have to suffice. …
I had a dream that the CEO of Pepsi, Indra Nooyi called me. It turns out she’s been reading my blog and is a big fan. Who would have thought that such a powerful business woman reads my blog? I have never been so flattered. When Indra came across some posts about Pepsi, she was so excited to hear that I am a huge Pepsi fan that she decided to give me a call so we could do some collaborating. It went like this:
I was originally going to call these “Double Fudge Cookies” since I already have a brownie cookie recipe in my repertoire. Everyone that had the pleasure of being a tester or stole a cookie said, “It’s like a brownie!” So they are the Fudge Brownie Cookie. Appropriate.
I went to culinary school. To get a job as a pastry chef. To do what I love. To present my gift of pastry to the world. What they don’t tell you in culinary school, I will tell you here. Your gift of pastry skills and hospitality skills in general will be used to appease angry assholes that want you to kiss their ass. When I left school I quickly found out that culinary school should have taught me how to kiss ass. First off, your talent, nobody gives a shit about. How fast can you give me what I want? That’s what the guest and your boss wants to know. Second, the pay is pathetic considering how much school and training costs. People want what they want and want it now. Quantity over quality. This is what we’ve become. I’ve had guests where I work demand chocolate covered strawberries in January. I’ve let people know that it’s not wise and offered better options that I could do. No. They want strawberries and they want them now. …
I remember when I was a kid having my first taste of Tequila Rose. I wasn’t a kid. More likely a teenager. Which is a kid. I’m not here to defend myself and you’re not here to read about my pathetic life. Unless you need to feel better about yourself, then be my guest and read some past articles. They should cheer you right up.
“If you like penis a lotta…then you’re probably gay”. -Jason Grant
I’m a fat kid at heart. I think a lot of people are. Who didn’t eat frosting right out of the can as a kid? If you didn’t you probably had a pretty shitty childhood. Boring at the very least. Your mom was probably the type that was on your ass for everything you did.