For this months giveaway, I am giving away a kitchen scale to one lucky son of a bitch!!
If you’re not familiar with malt. Familiarize yourself with it. Just not here. I’m not going to go into detail as to what it is or how it came about. Because I’m not sure myself and every time I try to tell you people something I get that one asshole emailing me telling, “That’s not true.” They have nothing else better to do than sit on the internet and tell people they’re wrong.
I remember when I was a kid having my first taste of Tequila Rose. I wasn’t a kid. More likely a teenager. Which is a kid. I’m not here to defend myself and you’re not here to read about my pathetic life. Unless you need to feel better about yourself, then be my guest and read some past articles. They should cheer you right up.
Fun Fact: I had made the Cherry Tequila Sunrise as an afterthought. I originally soaked the cherries to make this ice cream. When you’re not looking or paying attention and you just let go and go with life’s flow. That’s when good things happen. Life is like that. Unless you’re driving. I’ve let myself go and wandered while driving and almost took out a guardrail. A dog. Some bushes. Other cars. People.
“If you like penis a lotta…then you’re probably gay”. -Jason Grant
I’m a fat kid at heart. I think a lot of people are. Who didn’t eat frosting right out of the can as a kid? If you didn’t you probably had a pretty shitty childhood. Boring at the very least. Your mom was probably the type that was on your ass for everything you did.
One day while I was at work a coworker asked me if I wanted some green tea. Green Tea? Hell no I didn’t want any green tea. I’m at work, I’m trying to accomplish things, I need coffee. Give me green tea after a massage and a sushi buffet and let me take my nap. Then she pulled out this mystical looking tea bag in a shape I had never seen a tea bag shaped before. She held it up and spun it around like it had powers. “It has bits of brown rice in it” she said. I just nodded my head like I was in a trance and said “yes, I would like some of that.”