If you want my recipe. For free. Yes you have to hear my story.
If you can spend 90% of your life scrolling through social media you can spend three minutes reading an article.
In all honesty, you don’t have to read it. Scroll through like an asshole, make the recipe, share it on your feed, give the blogger zero credit and say nothing.
Yay! You did it!
Or just scroll through and make the recipe and say nothing. Whoa! I bet you didn’t know you could do that huh?
I get zero money from this blog. I pay out of pocket every damn year to keep this thing going.
I’m not smart or sassy with marketing. I’m mot a good PR person at pushing myself and selling my bullshit lies and “influencing” you because you can’t think for yourself.
I won’t use affiliate marketing and link up to some company I could give a shit about to tell you guys you should buy their stuff. (Because they want nothing to do with we. But that’s besides the point and a new article.)
I don’t crank out meaningless jibber and corny, (OK sometimes corny) recipes with a shit ton of ads and pop ups (I hate that shit) for you kids to eat up so I look important.
I’m your average guy, with an average job. I make average money and pay my way through life with hopes I’ll have enough money that doesn’t run out before I die or the government doesn’t find ways to penalize me and tax me so I work until I die.
So if you want my free recipe. Sit down and read my story or go buy a cookbook. You cheap ungrateful fucks.
It’s also really sad that reading to get something for free ruins your day.
Yeah, reading has become a nuisance. How fucking sad is that?
But if somethings on Tik Tok and Instagram – “OMG! I could just totally kill a day just scrolling. I swear.”
“Why can’t everything just be handed to us?!”
What the fuck happened to this country?!
“Give me liberty or I will throw the biggest tantrum. Swear to God I will put this all over Twitter! And I don’t even believe in God.” – Sasha, Milwaukee
But you know what I have to deal with and read? Your comments and emails.
You’re uncalled for, negative, sad, mommy said I was a princess and my opinion on everything matters comment. Yeah, I’m talking to you in Montreal you miserable woman you.
How about a free recipe but $20 to leave your asshole of a comment? Is that better for you assholes?
You’re so fucking lazy that you would pay someone $5 to read my story. So they could tell you my FREE recipe.
Better yet, pay me $5 and I’ll read it and leave it in your voicemail.
That’s the direction this country has gone. And now we’re fucked. Bravo.
You complain automation is taking our jobs yet you don’t want to do anything?
Now, with that said….
OMG!!! I made this hazelnut cake for my friend Becky’s brunch party and it is going to knock your socks off. It’s the best story ever and how this cake came about.
Seriously. Brush up on your reading skills and set aside three minutes of your time next week, maybe a little less time on Tik Tok because you’re going to want to hear this.
“I read a book one day and my whole life was changed.” ― Orhan Pamuk
Past Articles of me overreacting as well…
**Photo from www.pexels.com by William Fortunato.