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Chocolate Ricotta Almond Cake. When you’ve been screwed over by the Government and just about everyone else. Poor is now the new normal.

What asshole decides to turn the oven on and work with chocolate during a heat wave? This guy right here.

Not my most genius moment but I’ve done dumber shit, trust me. This was a trial to see if the stupidity in my mind was actually on to something. It was.

Remember, how back in the day they cooked with what they had or made it happen with what they could afford because everyone was so damn poor? Out of that came some awesome recipes from Grandma.

Well, history really does repeat itself. Better learn how to cook like a poor person because if you’re in America. You’re probably poor or will be shortly.

I was at the Dollar Tree because since the Pandemic I’ve been downgraded from my usual luxury shopping at T.J.Maxx.

I think we’re all in the same boat at this point.

I heard that even billionaires have laid off the people that tie their shoes for them. And I thought I had it bad. Damn.

Unemployment offices’s here in New York have stopped taking calls and are denying people unemployment and pandemic assistance to save money.

Yeah, money is tight right now people. Thank God we have our Government looking out for us.

And by looking out for us, I mean, they’re looking out for us so when they see us coming or calling they run and hide.

Anyhooter, I’ve been trying to remain positive and using my spare time to look for places to live for when the eviction notice arrives.

So, while I was at the Dollar Tree filling out an application. I picked up a box of Pillsbury Chocolate Cake Mix and said, “Hmmm, what would poor growing up Gus do?”

Well, tah dah! Chocolate Ricotta Almond Cake.

There are a couple things about this cake that make it spectacular. First, no oil or butter. You don’t have to buy a jug of oil and have it sitting around. One container of ricotta cheese and that’s it.

Second, booze for flavor. It’s my thing. Vanilla’s good but sometimes you gotta mix it up. If you can’t afford the booze. Use water.

Third and lastly, it’s the easiest of cakes with dynamite results that anyone can pull off. So this is simple enough to knock out for your next dinner party or cookout and look like less of a dud than you generally are.

Well, since we’re all poor, jobless with no help from our lovely Government. Let’s eat while we can!!

Anyone for cake??

“As long as there is poverty there will be gods.” – Will Durant 

Makes 1 – 8 inch cake

Chocolate Ricotta Almond Cake

1 Box Chocolate Cake Mix (I used Pillsbury)
3 whole eggs
425g. Ricotta Cheese (1 small container)
1/2c Amaretto

-Combine all ingredients in a bowl until you get a smooth cake mix looking consistency.
-Pour mix into an 8 inch buttered cake pan
-Bake at 350 degrees for about 35-40 minutes.

Milk Chocolate Glaze for Layering

1 1/2c milk chocolate
1/2c whole milk

-Boil milk and pour over milk chocolate.
-Stir to combine until smooth like icing.
-Use for layering and topping cake.

Oh, I toasted about a 1/2 cup worth of almonds to sprinkle on top of the cake. You know, cause I’m fancy like that.

 

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