Food, Miscellany

A Summertime Cocktail to help you live your best life while trying to cope with the uncertainty that is the New Normal. So let’s get drunk and talk shit.

The Cucumber Vodka Cilantro Soda is this months coping cocktail. Booze makes coping with people’s bullshit so much easier.

Currently there is so much shit and people to deal with. But we need to pace ourselves. Because there is just too much shit to deal with and too much booze isn’t cool.

Plus, it cost money and we have bills and rent to pay.

Some of the things on my mind and I’m currently coping with are such. Here we go:

At what point is a bully considered a comedian?

Those kids that get defended by their parents for being little assholes grow up to be Bill Maher.

Remember when you would see videos of governments acting absolutely absurd. You couldn’t fathom the idea of a government acting like that.

Well them tables have certainly turned haven’t they?

We live with a generation that thinks Saturday night live is funny but considers cartoons offensive.

The news causes most our problems and Twitter is our court system.

Warren Buffet said, “Never bet against America”. Think he’s changed his mind?

Why is it you can take a photo of someone, display it everywhere only to make fun of them and shame them.

But if you put it into words its offensive and cruel?

Why do we believe weathermen when they say how horrible this winter is going to be when they can’t even predict the weather three days from now?

Weatherman always exaggerate the temperature too. It’s 78 outside but feels like 85.

Think they do that with their dicks? It’s only 5 but feels like 8.

Do you think that the aliens that we always portray as looking freaky with their almond eyes and lanky bodies used to look like us?

Because of all their advanced technology they’ve mutated to how they look now and we could be on the same course?

If it’s true that all these advancements in military aviation and phone’s come from alien technology. It would make sense.

With aliens having their long skinny fingers. That explains why trying to use this goddamn iPhone is impossible with these sausage fingers of mine.

Shew…. That was a lot. I gotta sit down. Where’s my coping cocktail?!

Ah yes. The Cucumber Cilantro Vodka Soda.

Even if you’re not a sad negative shit like myself. This drink is perfect for sitting on the front porch and watching summer go by.

As of writing this, you’re still not allowed to go out and enjoy it. Sorry.

Well, lets get going. I have my drink ready. Made a pitcher and have it sitting in the fridge. Just grab my glass and top it off with soda.

I don’t waste time.

If I’m not getting paid by the hour. Never. I never waste time.

Enjoy your summer everyone!

“People make my ass tired” -My Mom

 

Other Cocktail Recipes I’ve made as a Coping Mechanism

Sparkly Blueberry Sake

The Nutty Manhattan

A Christmas Angel

Cucumber Cilantro Vodka Soda

2oz. Kettle One Cucumber Vodka
1/2oz. Lemon Juice
5 Cilantro Leaves
Club Soda

-Muddle or crush up your cilantro leaves in the bottom of your rocks glass
-Add your Kettle One Cucumber Vodka and Lemon Juice
-Top off with Club Soda

Enjoy Summer!!