I made this cake because I’m lazy as shit. If you were expecting some fascinating story about my baking adventures. Not this time.
I really made this cake because I’m lazy. Which isn’t always a bad thing. Especially in this case. It resulted in a downright fantastic cake.
I wanted to make a cake because I was bored. Since I was out of milk I needed something white. All I had was piña colada mix. It’s white so it had to work, right?
It made perfect sense to me. Which most irrational things do. Well, in this case it did work and worked quite well. With some twists and bends and a couple paces of the floor. I got it.
Last week I went for my evening stroll through town. The crisp autumn air, even thought it’s January it feels like autumn. Cool evenings are a nice welcome to my allergies.
I was making my way when the wind picked up and something flew into my eyes. I was crippled, stranded on the sidewalk.
I barely made my way home and flushed my eyes for a good thirty minutes. Nothing. Got worse actually. Instead of a nuisance it became full on pain.
Luckily there is an urgent care near my home and I mustered up the strength and little bit of visibility I had left to make my way there.
I walk in and feel my way to the desk. Clearly out of commission, head down and unable to see, I explain my situation.
The woman asks for my insurance card and hands me a clipboard and tells me to go fill out the paperwork.
This part puzzled me. That’s like a deaf person walking in, letting you know that their deaf and need help. So you start shouting, “I SAID YOU NEED TO FILL OUT THE FORMS!!!”
Not going to work dumbass.
All I could do was smile and just feel my way to my seat and attempt to fill out the forms as best as I could with tears and snot falling from my face.
The kicker. My card wasn’t accepted at urgent care and she told me she needed $200 before I was even able to “consult” with the doctor. Then anything beyond that was subject to charges.
You’re going to charge me $200 to “consult” with a doctor who’s going to flush my eye with $5 saline solution from Walgreens and charge me additional $500. All of which will take 10 minutes.
Get the fuck outta here!
I grabbed my snot rags and felt my way out of urgent care.
I’m not even going to get myself started on heath care. That shit gets me going so bad.
It’s part of the reason why I have piña colada mix and so much booze on hand at the house in the first place. Sometimes it comes in handy for baking too. As it did here.
I haven’t tried it but of course you could use coconut milk. Another tip for making this cake. Make sure to sweetened coconut. Unsweetened coconut will absorb a lot of moisture and you will end up with a dry cake.
If you’re looking for a killer buttercream recipe for this cake there is my Award Winning Buttercream which I did use for this cake. If you’re looking for something a little more simpler there is also my Vanilla Buttercream recipe which is much simpler. Both will work equally well.
That’s all for me. I have to get up at 4am.
Happy baking and living.
“You were born with potential. You were born with goodness & trust. You were born with ideals and dreams. You were born with greatness. You were born with wings. You were not meant for crawling, so don’t. You have wings. Learn to use them and fly.” – Rumi
Piña Colada Cake
Makes 2 – 8 inch round cakes
200g. Neutral Oil (vegetable, grapeseed, corn)
400g. Piña Colada Mix
20g. Baking powder
150g. Shredded Coconut, (sweetened in case you didn’t read above. I’m not hurt, it’s OK)
-combine all your liquid ingredients, set aside
-combine all your dry ingredients and add to your liquids you set aside
-stir to combine and make a smooth cake batter looking mix
-pour into your two cake pans that have been buttered
Bake at 350 degrees until golden and gorgeous or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Approximately 20-25 minutes.
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