The Holidays are in full swing and I’ve made my yearly cocktail that helps me cope with everyone’s bullshit.
The assholes at the bottom of the escalator debating where to go next while people pile up behind them. Everyone offended by the saying “Merry Christmas”. Entitled douchebags that cut the line. Grown ass people fighting over frivolous consumer products. Enter the Black Friday dipshits. Last minute assholes that cause a scene in the stores because they ran out of something. The clueless asshole’s that have conversations in the doorway who get annoyed when people try to get around them.
Lastly, my personal favorite, the angry bitch that’s mean to the cashier. This is a daily occurrence anymore but it’s just heightened at Christmas. You know, because this the only the time of year we should be caring, appreciative and thankful.
Ah, just fills my heart with holiday joy!
I personally love nothing more than telling everyone Merry Christmas. Nothing makes me happier than knowing someone gets offended over silly shit.
One thing that’s getting more popular these days and on Holiday wish lists that blows my fucking mind. Candles.
This boggles my mind as they are now considered a luxury item. Once an item used to light the darkness are now a luxury. How wonderful. Perhaps one day we can make yet another necessity an over priced luxury to keep the poverty level where it should be.
“Hey Mr. CEO, how much should we pay our employees?”
“Let’s give em $8 an hour. But no health insurance. They can buy their own.”
“Sounds good. Oh and uh, your box of $800 candles came in today.”
People to this day still live without electricity and you’re considering a candle a luxury? So much so that you’re willing to spend up to $800 for a candle? Another sign of this world in a downward spiral.
Where’s my coping cocktail of the season? I need a cocktail to help me cope with life more and more as time goes on.
I would like to make this cocktail for my friend Pepper’s annual Christmas party but I know my assistant has other plans. What they are I have no idea and quite frankly has me worried.
He probably has an idea to do some crazy concoction, with bells and whistles and then hand the production over to me. He does that shit all the time.
Last year was a bit more of a breeze. This year had too many ups and downs and now right before the Holidays I had to have surgery. Then the news had the balls to report on a story of $800 candles really sent me over the edge.
Jesus Christ!!! I hope that offended someone.
Oh and Merry Christmas. I called it A Christmas Angel to piss people off. Because an $800 candle doesn’t piss anyone off but God forbid you say Merry Christmas. Fucking people.
Christmas Angel – Coping Cocktail of the Season
-combine over ice in a shaker strain into glass or whatever to-go mug you choose to take with you shopping.
-you can garnish with an orange peel if you desire. Personally I don’t like anything in my drink or on my plate that I can’t eat. Doesn’t make sense to me.
Other Cocktails you will enjoy
Banana Champagne Cocktail (An old favorite)