Cookie Bars are the lazy mans cookie.
It’s also a good reminder that people have not changed throughout time. Today you work with someone, I work with 27, who are a complete waste of space and serve no purpose whatsoever in society. Rest assured that Alexander Graham Bell had his fair share of people come through his door that he had to let go because they were as worthless as people can be today.
In fact, it is said that Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone so he could call his employees to find out where the hell they were.
I’m sure all through history there were worthless people. You just don’t hear about them until one of their worthless efforts actually created something worth while.
Who invented the cookie bar? I bet it was that bitch Mrs. Fields. Marketing genius of a woman. My hat goes off to her.
Cookie bars really are a bit of genius that came out of laziness. They are easier to transport. They don’t get smashed as easily. You can get more of a nice crunch while maintaining a soft interior. The best part, you can fit more chips and sweets into a bar without it baking all over the place.
Perhaps, it was a gluttonous cheap bastard that invented the cookie bar. Maybe it was my Mom?!
I made the Butterscotch Oatmeal Bars because I was trying to be the opposite of lazy. I wanted to make a cookie. Which I did, The Irish Cream Oatmeal Cookie. Though wonderful as a cookie. I tooled around with the recipe and alakazam!! Cookie Bars.
The cookies are delicious in their own right, but the bars have a different element. The bars have a solid crunch with a soft buttery center. The cookies are soft all day.
The bars a great and between you and me. I have always been honest with you guys, my fans. Even the girl who hates me but reads my blog religiously. But, I like the bars better than the cookies. There, I said it.
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Butterscotch Oatmeal Bars
-combine all your dry ingredients in a mixing bowl, set aside.
-combine milk and butter and vanilla. Microwave for about 2 minutes, just until the butter is melted.
-pour your butter and milk mix over dry ingredients. With the paddle attachment of your mixer. Mix on low just until all is combined and mix comes together.
-dump mix into a 9×13 greased casserole dish.
-bake at 350 degrees for approximately 45 minutes. Bars should be a golden brown.
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