I was watching a documentary about a family that adopted a little girl and twin boys. The couple had huge hearts and bank accounts by the looks of things. They were lovely people that had so much love to give and wanted to give these kids the life they deserved. They took these kids in and gave them a wonderful home full of love and valuables.
It started out beautifully but the kids turned out to be absolutely atrocious. I give this couple so much credit because they stuck with these kids and would not give up on them, no matter what. I personally would have sent them back.
What got me thinking about the documentary was that there was a set of therapists at the families home daily to help the couple with the transition and coping with kids in adoptive families. What I didn’t understand the most was that according to the therapists, the couple was doing everything wrong. Everything the couple did to make these kids happy, giving them love, setting rules and things a normal family does to function was wrong.
It made me think about how much we are taught to love. How to love one another. How to give the most of ourselves to others. Your life, your job, your family, travel, dreams and all things that we love. We are taught to devote our lives to the people and the things that we love.
It’s all very wonderful. To give others and life all the love that we have to offer feels great. What happens when those people and life give their love?
Life doesn’t give you what you ask for. Life gives you what you need. Life gives you the experiences that you need to fulfill your purpose in life. Whatever that purpose may be. This is life giving you it’s love. Life is returning the love that you have given it, the way that life gives love. Through moments, memories, family and friends. We are not taught how to receive this love.
When your partner expresses their love for you and you reject it. This is you telling them that they are wrong. This is you not knowing how to receive their love. Your partner may not be perfect. Neither are you. How would you feel if you did something for your partner that you thought was sweet of you but they rejected it? Real shitty I bet you. You gave what was the best of your love and it was “wrong”.
Your partner is expressing their love as they know how and how they are. They are giving you something that is them and we are not taught how to receive this as love and appreciation. Instead, we are taught that we should be given what we want and deserve. We are not taught to appreciate someone as they are and respect them for their generosity.
Maybe your partner isn’t the most romantic but they love you. They show their love as they do. It’s them and it’s their heart. It may be weird, different, corny or whatever isn’t “right” to you. But it’s them and if you love them, you will love the way they love you.
I’m sure you show your love and appreciation for people in your own unique way that is you. I also hope it is returned with love and appreciation because I know we all know how good it feels to be loved and appreciated. We also know how it feels to be rejected and denied. Remember this.
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“Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life” – Leo Buscaglia