I never liked Quiche because I grew up with an angry Mom. Now I’m her angry son. It’s not that we’re really angry. We’re just angry when someone does something really stupid and people go crazy for it. It’s one of those “Why didn’t I think of that” moments.
My Mom’s view on a Quiche was, “It’s a goddamn omelette in a pie shell.” This is very true and yet people think they are being oh so brunchy and cute when they eat it. Seriously people, it’s just an omelette in a pie shell. I did some research with my friend Tim who speaks French and went to school in France. He even told me that Quiche is French for Omelette Pie. Another thing simple and stupid and yet with the right PR it’s genius.
A quick history lesson for you. The Quiche was actually invented by the French simply because Queen Elizabeth was coming for a visit and they didn’t know what to make to impress her. They said, “Those damn English love their pies don’t they?! Just put an omelette in a pie shell and call it a day.” The Queen thought it was genius and delicious. The Queen immediately called back to the Palace and spoke with her head Chef and calmly said, “Just so you know, the French came up with an Omelette Pie before England. I don’t know how this happened but when I get back, heads will roll.” Upon her return to England, upset that her cooks hadn’t come up with the idea first, heads actually rolled. She had them killed. The Queen’s new Executive Chef made Quiche a daily thing and whenever other Kings and Queens came for a visit. Except the King of Sweden, whom she hated for whatever reason. Soon the Quiche became a household dish because honestly, who’s not going to like what The Queen likes? Rumor has it that she made it mandatory but no one wants to discuss that out of fear of The Queen. I understand.
My version of Quiche is a little different because I use cottage cheese instead of the usual mayonnaise. Why mayonnaise in a Quiche? I have no idea. I haven’t figured it out myself. Now, it seems more popular to use half and half or cream. Perhaps this makes people feel better or healthier. I try not to figure peoples crazy out. I’m not saying my cottage cheese version is healthier or anything, I just like the texture it gives to the Quiche and adds a new dimension and it tastes out of this world. I also use cottage cheese in some of my cake recipes for the same reason. I also made my own pie dough, which isn’t necessary, I did it because as you can see from the photos below I really need the practice. Normally you would think I failed. Wrong. If you screw up in pastry, you call it ‘rustic.’ You can buy a frozen pie shell from the market if you don’t want to make it rustic.
If you’re not a morning person like myself, you can sauté the red peppers, mushrooms and bacon a day ahead. This will cut down on time in the morning. Ok, let’s get started before I completely loose interest. Quiche-us Christ!!
“Being Happy is a very personal thing and it really has nothing to do with anyone else”
For the Pie Dough
200g unsalted butter in small cubes
100g cold water
-I place all my ingredients in the fridge for an hour
-Then, using your fingers rub the butter with the flour until it’s grainy or like they say pea sized pieces. There will be some bigger chunks of butter but don’t worry about them
-Slowly add your cold water and mix until a smooth dough forms. You may not use all the water, so go slowly. You don’t want a sticky wet dough.
-wrap and refrigerate overnight
-roll out with a dustin of flour (I’m assuming you know how to roll out pie dough) and line a 9 inch pie pan
-now make your filling
8oz chopped bacon
1/2 medium sized red pepper, diced
1c chopped mushrooms of your liking – I used button
1 1/2c shredded cheese – I used the Mexican blend
-sauté the chopped bacon to your liking. I like my bacon crispy but not too crispy.
-save about a tablespoon worth of bacon grease, oil or drippings (whatever you say that makes you feel better about cooking with bacon grease)
and sauté your mushrooms and red peppers
-set aside or refrigerate and use the next day
For the Filling
1c cottage cheese
1tsp black pepper
-Combine your cottage cheese, eggs, salt and pepper with a fork. Give it a good beating and make sure all is combined.
Now, place all your fillings from up above in the bottom of your pie shell. Then dump your egg mixture over the top of all that. Sprinkle the top with a little more black pepper. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 1 hour. Rotating half way through. There…done. See? Quiche-us Christ!! It’s not that hard and it’s absolutely wonderful. This is mine and my Assistant Gilberto’s new favorite dish.
I hope you enjoy it as much as we do!! Please, let me know what you think. Have a great weekend everyone.