Be nice to yourself, no one else will

mixed media collage artwork artist

“It’s bad enough people don’t respect each other anymore, but they don’t even respect themselves”
-My brother

First off, I was shocked when I heard this come out of my brothers mouth.  I love the guy but this a 45 year old man that still calls dad to ask what kind of oil goes in his car.   He did hit the nail on the head though.  Peoples behavior toward one another has become appalling but what we do to ourselves is just sad.  What happened?

I have a battle that rages in my head on a daily basis.  I have read tons of spiritual books, meditate nightly and writing out my thoughts daily.  I still have that one burning question.  How do you not close out people that don’t deserve your time?

I started referring to work as Briarcliff, from American Horror Story.  Everyone is shady and evil.  You can trust no one.  Coworkers will talk to someone like they are the best of friends and then turn and tell you “what a piece of shit that guy is”.  This boggles my mind.  I refuse to waste my time on someone who is a complete piece of shit and I am told what a horrible person I am.

I worked with a guy that I had to have five meetings with the last four executives because I refused to talk to him.  Each meeting went like this:

Executive:  Hey, Carl’s heartbroken because he says you don’t like him.
Me:  He’s right, I don’t.
Executive:  Listen, we all know he’s nothing but problems, that’s just the way he is.  Deal with it.
Me: Uh yeah, I do know the way he is and I refuse to deal with it.  If you enjoy getting shit all over then by all means.
Executive:  *sigh* all right….

I don’t get it.  Are you serious?  You want me to be friends or hang out with someone who I have absolutely no respect for.  What are we supposed to do?  Go out to the bar after work and talk about all the times he’s screwed me over?
“Remember that time you knew there was no coverage so you called out to stick me with a triple?  You’re a trip bro.  Next rounds on me.”  Get the fuck outta here!

If your kid was running with a trouble maker, wouldn’t you stop your child from running with someone who was going to do nothing but expose your child to problems?  Why as adults when we work with or know someone who is problems we are deemed to accept them?   We are expected to “play nice” and disrespect ourselves and let these people  continue to be problems.  No, just walk away.  Go to your happy place, drink your coffee and ignore them.  I can’t stress enough how much I dislike trouble people.  I don’t give them trouble back, I just go “Oh my, you’re a real piece of work”.  I grab my coffee and walk away.  Hoping I never have to see or talk to them again.  I know, I know, at work you still have to deal with these people.  Keep it work related and professional and when they try to make small talk.  Do what I do, say “I didn’t express an interest in your life”.

A mouse knows the snake is dangerous and keeps away.  If you encountered a rattle snake while hiking would you runaway?  Well that would hurt its feelings.  Maybe you should be nice and try and pet him.  Make friends with a known danger.  Sure, go right ahead, I’m sure nothing bad will happen.  Once the rattle snake gets to know you, he’ll warm up to you and be totally trust worthy.  Get the fuck outta here!  Snake people are the same way.  Run!  They are dangerous.   Pretend you have something important to do.  Ignore them.  Pass the blame.  Tell them your spouse is controlling and you have to go home, that’s why you can’t hang out with them.  You could be like myself and just tell them you don’t care for them.  Just so you know, whenever I’ve been honest it tends to backfire in my face.  There, I’ve given you options.

Good luck!  Let me know how things work out for you.


“I never make the mistake of arguing
with people for whose opinions I
have no respect.”
-Edward Gibbon


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