Merry Christmas!!

IMG_8992I just want to say Merry Christmas to all of you and I wish you and your family much love and happiness!! May you enjoy and be thankful!!

I made a gingerbread house for you guys.  I mean, if you’re in the New York area and want to swing by.  I’ll put on a pot of coffee and I have plenty of sweets and candy we can shove in our faces and we’ll talk shit about how Martha Stewart has a team helping her.  I have a full time job, a serious addiction to sleep and procrastination and still manage to crank out Christmas crap.  If you’re not in New York,  you’re screwed and you’ll have to make your own.  I love making gingerbread houses because I like to think they’re like the real home I grew up in.  Beautifully decorated homes on the outside and inside is a total disaster that three kids and numerous dogs have totally demolished.  I’ve said it a million times and I’ll say it again, I loved my childhood and wouldn’t change a thing.  Well, that’s a lie, if I could go back I wouldn’t be the 325 pound fat pig that I was.  That I would change.

IMG_9421_2The Holiday’s are the best because it’s acceptable for your house to be a disaster.  In fact, if it’s not a disaster and over done people think you’re not trying.  If I went over to your house and it wasn’t torn apart and completely chaotic I would think, “Oh this bitch ain’t getting me anything.  I may as well keep the gift I got him.”   The Holiday’s this year did overwhelm me a bit to be honest.  Throwing parties, attending parties or just drinking with my assistant Gilberto, I have actually accomplished some stuff believe it or not.  I swear!

All joking aside, my wish for you this Christmas season is that you are thankful.  Thankful that you are able to be sitting in your warm toasty house at a computer reading this.  That there is food in your belly and a roof over your head.  One of my favorite quotes and oh how I love quotes is:  The thing that you take for granted, someone is praying for.  Remember this when you have to go into work Christmas day.  I don’t want to hear you cry and huff and puff, yet you will anyway, because you have to work on Christmas day.  We all work with this person, sadly 99% of my coworkers are this person.  Instead say, “Thank you God that I have a job that pays for me to spend foolishly on senseless crap that litters my house”.   Myself, I am thankful that I am able to afford enough food that I’ve had to wear my fat pants for two weeks straight.  I held onto a couple pair of pants from when I was fat.  I knew I would relapse every year around the Christmas season.   No regrets!

Merry Christmas and much love to you all,

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