I made a gingerbread house for you guys. I mean, if you’re in the New York area and want to swing by. I’ll put on a pot of coffee and I have plenty of sweets and candy we can shove in our faces and we’ll talk shit about how Martha Stewart has a team helping her. I have a full time job, a serious addiction to sleep and procrastination and still manage to crank out Christmas crap. If you’re not in New York, you’re screwed and you’ll have to make your own. I love making gingerbread houses because I like to think they’re like the real home I grew up in. Beautifully decorated homes on the outside and inside is a total disaster that three kids and numerous dogs have totally demolished. I’ve said it a million times and I’ll say it again, I loved my childhood and wouldn’t change a thing. Well, that’s a lie, if I could go back I wouldn’t be the 325 pound fat pig that I was. That I would change.
The Holiday’s are the best because it’s acceptable for your house to be a disaster. In fact, if it’s not a disaster and over done people think you’re not trying. If I went over to your house and it wasn’t torn apart and completely chaotic I would think, “Oh this bitch ain’t getting me anything. I may as well keep the gift I got him.” The Holiday’s this year did overwhelm me a bit to be honest. Throwing parties, attending parties or just drinking with my assistant Gilberto, I have actually accomplished some stuff believe it or not. I swear!
All joking aside, my wish for you this Christmas season is that you are thankful. Thankful that you are able to be sitting in your warm toasty house at a computer reading this. That there is food in your belly and a roof over your head. One of my favorite quotes and oh how I love quotes is: The thing that you take for granted, someone is praying for. Remember this when you have to go into work Christmas day. I don’t want to hear you cry and huff and puff, yet you will anyway, because you have to work on Christmas day. We all work with this person, sadly 99% of my coworkers are this person. Instead say, “Thank you God that I have a job that pays for me to spend foolishly on senseless crap that litters my house”. Myself, I am thankful that I am able to afford enough food that I’ve had to wear my fat pants for two weeks straight. I held onto a couple pair of pants from when I was fat. I knew I would relapse every year around the Christmas season. No regrets!
Merry Christmas and much love to you all,